If you are invited to a French home this festive season for a formal meal or asked to pop-round just for Aperos then we have some useful tips and insight for you so you don't make too many gaffs, as I still do today!
Faye Boulanger at Flickr.com
Many people bring up the idea of cultural etiquette during this season of gift giving and receiving. For example, you might have heard that, in Japan, you should accept gifts with both hands. Or that it is common for Singaporeans to graciously refuse a gift several times before accepting it. It is important to have a certain level of cultural intelligence to make sure that you won’t mistakenly insult the person with whom you are interacting. But it is also important to realise that cultures norms are often very complex and do not follow monolithic rules.
What time should you arrive? this is a complex issue and unless you find out by making the mistake once and then applying the rule on future occaisions, it is difficult to know the local etiquette first time around. I think being 'on time' is the best default position BUT not in Mayenne department of Pays de la Loire where they have what is known as the 'Mayenne quart d'heure' where the polite time to arrive is 15 minutes late, yes late! presumably giving the host a little time to perfect the ambience?
I’ve often heard that it can be insulting to your French host to bring a bottle of wine with you when invited to a dinner. The idea behind this is that wine plays such an important role in a French dinner that your host has probably already selected the perfect bottle for your table. This is an “old society” rule and, frankly, most French hosts would take this rule with a grain of salt (or, in the French idiomatic expression: ils prendraient cette règle avec des pincettes).
The same goes for the rule that, when offering a bouquet, you must include an odd number of flowers in it; I’ve never seen someone count the number of flowers they have just received. Rather, most of the time, they are impressed with the generous gesture and will thank you by kissing your cheeks.
If you are invited to a French home this holiday season for a formal meal, it is considered good form (especially in Paris) to send them over the day before to be used as decoration for the meal or in the days following the meal, along with a thank you card.
So while it is important to be aware of different cultural forms of etiquette, it’s also important to know that these traditions are oftentimes flexible or depend on varying degrees of formality and friendship.
For example, I might send flowers ahead of a formal dinner with business colleagues, but not necessarily to a more casual dinner between intimate friends.
If you follow your own common sense and always act with kindness and thoughtfulness, you’ll be fine no matter what culture you find yourself in.
Just how do the French celebrate Christmas where you live or visit?
Blog submitted by: David at The French Property Network - Cle France.
This blog was originally posted on The French Language Blog pages.
